


the crazy cat dad club

by ellenbridget



Category: GOT7
Genre: Humor, Lots of Cats, M/M, bambam and jb are canonically cat ladies, bbam, yugs gets tired of bam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-07 09:35:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17958029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellenbridget/pseuds/ellenbridget
Summary: bambam and jaebum are neighbors who have an unofficial competition to see who can collect more cats and claim the role of alpha cat dad





	the crazy cat dad club

**Author's Note:**

  * For [zayndotcom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zayndotcom/gifts).



> ah im so happy to be participating in this fic exchange, thank you for jincess for arranging this and thank you for zayndotcom for the amazing prompt  
> this is my first fic since my middle school one direction days so thank y’all for reading!

“bambam. if i find one more cat in my closet i’m going to burn every single LV bag you own”

“you wouldn’t”

“you have way too much faith in me” yugyeom replied, entering the kitchen with a white cat in his arms. “cupcake is a menace” 

“cupcake is a star who deserves love” bambam said, glaring as yugyeom deposited cupcake on the kitchen island.

“you promised you were only going to get one cat when we first moved in” 

“i kept that promise for a long time!” bambam protested.

“bam...you have four cats, and we’ve only been here for a year”

“well...”

“and you spend way too much money on them” yugyeom continued.

“no i don’t!” bambam protested, reaching down to pick up a grey cat from the floor. 

“bam. you bought each of your cats a personalized gucci collar”

“i don’t want people thinking that my cats are broke!”

“you’re a college student. you and your cats are broke!” yugyeom argued.

“that’s nobody’s business but mine” bambam replied, as the grey cat, king, struggled in his arms.

“you couldn’t afford your half of the rent for four months!”

bambam was about to respond, but was cut off by the ringing of his phone. he grumbled, picking it up, and letting king down. he hummed in response to the voice on the other line, and then frowned before agreeing to something. he hung up and turned to yugyeom.

“apparently professor park told sehun we have to get our final designs in by midnight. i’m going to have to spend the entire day in the arts building,” bambam complained, rushing to pick up his design folder off the dining room table.

bambam continued talking as he opened the door and started walking out. “don’t forget to feed the cats! cupcake likes fancy feast, but latte likes royal prescription diet cat food. and pudding doesn’t like dry cat food, so give her raw tuna, but only serve it if it’s exactly 43 degrees! and king likes her milk with ⅛ a teaspoon of cinnamon and a drop of vanilla. and don’t—”

yugyeom cut off the sound of bambam’s voice by swiftly shutting the door, and walked back into the kitchen. he hastily overfilled a bowl with some dry cat food before taking a nap on the couch.

 

***

bambam returned to find the apartment unlocked, and yugyeom asleep on the couch. he grumbled, placing his jacket and folder on the table by the door, and putting the chinese take out on the kitchen counter. he reached down to pet his siamese cat, latte, as she walked by, and then went into the living room to find the rest of his beloved pets. there, he found yugyeom, napping on the couch with his mouth wide open, and king, pulling on the string of the arm of yugyeom’s sweater. cupcake was sleeping underneath the side table. bambam smiled at the sight, and looked for his last cat, pudding. 

first he tried the bedroom. but bambam didn’t find pudding. bambam scoured the entire apartment for pudding, but to no avail.

“yugyeom!” bambam yelled, charging into the living room to wake up the sleeping man.

yugyeom slowly lifted his head to meet bambam’s worried gaze.

“pudding is missing” bambam declared, placing his hands on his hips.

“well, did you look around?”

“yes, yugyeom. i looked everywhere!”

“go ask the neighbors then”

bambam glared at his lazing best friend before storming out of the apartment. first, he knocked on the door of his neighbor across the hall, a single mother who claimed she hadn’t seen the cat and expressed her apologies. next, he tried his neighbor to the left, an old man who shut the door with a curt denial. bambam briefly glanced at the door to his right, previously unoccupied up until the present week. bambam had yet to greet the new neighbor, and a interrogation regarding the location of pudding may not be the generic “fruitcake and flowers” the neighbor might have appreciated.

regardless, bambam had (for the sake of his cats) long ago abandoned following social norms, ever since he tried to sue his ex-boyfriend for calling his siamese cat ugly. bambam quickly strided over to his neighbor’s door, and knocked semi-politely.

bambam tapped his foot, waiting, when the door swung open revealing an attractive man who seemed to be in his twenties. the man threw a curious glance at bambam, quirking his head to the side, as if inviting him to speak.

“hi, i’m bambam and i lost my cat and i’m not trying to accuse you of stealing her but perhaps you may have seen her? her name is pudding and—”

“you live next door, right? i’m jaebum, your cat is in my apartment” jaebum quickly cut bambam off.

“wait, what? how did it get there?”

“well, i was passing by your apartment door, and i heard meowing, and i opened the door, and picked up the cat”

“you stole my cat?”

“in my defense, i thought it was in need. and you left your door unlocked”

“excuse me? in need? i’m an excellent caretaker”

“she was by herself! here, please come in, i’ll get olive” jaebum said, leaving the doorway.

“you named her? its pudding, cat stealer!” bambam yelled, following his new neighbor inside, trying to avoid a white cat lounging in the middle of the entryway.

“she doesn’t seem to like dry food, so i made her salmon and asparagus. now she’s taking a nap” jaebum began explaining, as he walked across the dimly lit living room, before disappearing in a side room.

“i know she doesn’t like dry food, asshole” bambam huffed.

looking around the living room, bambam noticed another cat, a solid black one, peeking out from under the television set.

“how many cats do you have?” bambam questioned.

“five!” jaebum called from the other room.

bambam crossed his arms and hummed in discontent. he felt like his status was being threatened.

jaebum entered the living room with pudding in his arms. “what about you? how many cats do you have?”

“four” bambam replied, curtly, reaching out for pudding.

“that’s a decent number. i hope to see you and pudding soon!” jaebum said, with a crinkly smile.

bambam nodded, before turning out of the apartment without saying goodbye, trying to ignore how cute his new neighbor’s smile is.

***

“yugyeom, i need another cat”

yugyeom looked up from his fried rice before vehemently shaking his head in disagreement. “no. no you don’t. there’s not enough room for me and another cat, you have to choose”.

bambam hesitated for a second too long.

“you wouldn’t seriously choose the cat, would you?” yugyeom sputtered in disbelief.

bambam stayed silent.

“why aren’t you saying anything?” yugyeom demanded.

“i don’t want to hurt your feelings…” bambam admitted.

yugyeom stood up quickly. “friends are forever, cats are for twelve years at best!” he exclaimed before storming off to his room.

bambam looked down at his plate. he was going to have to apologize. maybe with a cake, saying “i love you more than cats”. that would be a fun one to explain to the baker.

***

bambam arrived home the next day in an oversized coat, trying to inconspicuously pass by his roomate. unfortunately, yugyeom was right by the door.

“please tell me that you are not holding a cat under your coat”

“what would make you say that?” bambam replied, trying to distract yugyeom from the obvious moving lump on his upper chest.

yugyeom stared at bambam, the silence broken by the occasional meow.

“there’s actually two of them” bambam admitted. 

yugyeom gave bambam a look.

“they’re already named” bambam whispered, trying to avoid yugyeom’s eyes.

yugyeom sighed, and watched as bambam pulled two orange kittens out of his inner coat pockets. 

two days later, bambam stopped by jaebum’s to deliver some cookies, and to spy on the competition. when jaebum excused himself to go to the bathroom, bambam began looking around. he started counting the cats, and became increasingly worried as the number began moving past five. he stormed into the kitchen, where jaebum had returned.

“how many cats do you have now?” bambam interrogated.

jaebum looked up, with cookie crumbs falling off his chin. “nine” he responded slowly, before turning back to his cookie.

“unbelievable!” bambam shouted, before stomping out of jaebum’s apartment, leaving the confused man behind.

***

bambam was getting worried. 

since his last visit with jaebum, bambam was only able to acquire one more cat, a black haired kitten named stella. to say yugyeom didn’t appreciate stella’s presence would be an understatement. but what other options did he have? he now only had seven cats total, not even close to beating jaebum’s ever growing collection.

bambam also couldn’t afford all these cats. he believed his cats deserved a boujee lifestyle. unfortunately, his minimum wage job couldn’t support the three bags of gold imbedded litter bambam bought weekly. therefore, paying any more adoption fees might not be a wise financial decision.

it seemed like a miracle when, three days later, bambam noticed a cat in the alleyway behind the arts building. 

the cat looked grey and was partly covered by a green dumpster. bambam slowly neared it, calling for the kitty in a soft voice. when he got close enough, he reached out and grabbed the grey cat. unfortunately, it was not a cat, but rather, a raccoon. the animal quickly scratched at bam, and tried to lunge for his face.

bambam returned home an hour later with a torn shirt and scratches everywhere, holding a small tabby cat from the local animal shelter. it was worth the extra fifty dollars. note to self: don’t physically grab a feral raccoon.

***

“jackson, please tell him to stop bringing home cats!” yugyeom pleaded at the coffee shop the next morning.

“i don’t want to get involved” jackson quickly replied, sipping on his iced tea to excuse himself from the conversation.

“but jaebum is getting ahead of me!”

“well jaebum isn’t my roomate! maybe you should dedicate all this effort towards studying! or working! or anything else than collecting a ridiculous amount of cats to battle our new neighbor in some weird unofficial crazy cat lady contest!”

bambam paused for a second. “you know, i’m really not a fan of your tone right now”. 

“good! i don’t care! no more cats! or else i’m not going to kill the next spider you see!” yugyeom argued back.

“all you do is hate on me” bambam grumbled, going to take a sip of his latte.

jackson and yugyeom began chatting about a new netflix show while bambam sulked in his chair. about twenty minutes later, yugyeom stood up, signaling that it was time to go. bambam got up to follow him out, until yugyeom turned around and put a hand on his chest to stop him.

“bam. we’re not leaving until you put the cat back”

bambam hesitantly pulled the greyish cat out from his bag, and placed it on the floor, where it quickly ran off. he didn’t understand how yugyeom even noticed.

***

bambam came home from class to find an old friend sitting at the counter, talking with yugyeom. 

“jinyoung! what are you doing here?” bambam exclaimed, running over to give the older man a hug.

jinyoung smiled and accepted. “i came to visit jaebum, but i didn’t want to come all the way here without visiting you two”.

bambam paused for a second. “you mean, the jaebum next door? you know him?”

jinyoung looked confused. “he’s my best friend, bam, you didn’t know that?”

“how is he doing, by the way?” yugyeom interjected, leaving a stunned bambam in silence.

“good. i can’t stay there too long though, with all those cats. i can’t believe it, who needs thirteen cats?”

bambam’s head shot up. “thirteen?” he yelled.

jinyoung nodded, seeming taken aback by his outburst. yugyeom quickly turned his head to bambam, quickly spitting out “no. don’t even think about it”.

bambam turned and ran into the corridor, making his way to jaebum’s apartment. bambam pounded on the door until a messy-haired jaebum who had obviously just been woken up opened the door, staring with curiosity down at bambam.

“fine! fine, you win! i can’t keep doing this, yugyeom is going to kick me out, i have no money, you win. you’re the alpha cat dad, are you happy now?” bambam immediately yelled.

jaebum looked confused. “bam, what are you talking about? what did i win?”

bambam was taken aback for a second, before stuttering out “the cat competition!”

“the cat competition?” jaebum repeated, in a questioning tone.

“...to see who could collect more cats? isn’t that why you got so many whenever i got some?”

“no, i just...really like cats” jaebum admitted, avoiding bambam’s gaze.

“so you’re telling me that i got attacked by a raccoon for a one-sided competition?”

“wait, why’d you get attacked by a raccoon, what did you do?”

“that’s not the point. what person gets thirteen cats just because?” bambam shouted in disbelief.

jaebum looked offended. 

“nevermind” bambam sighed, and walked past jaebum into his apartment. bambam went to go sit next to a white cat on the couch, and jaebum followed, sitting down next to him. 

after a few minutes of silence, jaebum burst out laughing. “so i’m the alpha cat daddy, huh?”

bambam nodded, while glaring.

“do i get a prize?” jaebum questioned.

bambam hesitated for a moment. “like what?” he questioned. 

jaebum smiled. “what about a date with you?”

“me?” bambam gawked.

“no, with ronald mcdonald” jaebum replied sarcastically. “yes, i mean you! you’re cute, why else would i give your cat back that first day?”

“wait, are you trying to say that you would have kept my cat if i hadn’t been cute?”

“that’s not the point. say yes, please?”

“why did you never tell me this before?” bambam demanded, still in shock.

“i was going to. but everytime you come over, you only ask how many cats i have, then run out in frustration!” 

“so? a visual god is interested in me and he decides to stay quiet about it? people need to learn from me: never shut up about anything! i could have been getting dick ages ago and you just kept quiet? this is treason and—”

“bam! the date? is it a yes?” jaebum finally interjected.

“yes, cat stealing old man!” bambam replied in excitement.

“perfect! i’m going to go grab us some beers” jaebum stated, promptly standing up and then tripping over three of his cats.

bambam couldn’t help but laugh. jaebum was cute, but he still appreciated a bit of karma.

**Author's Note:**

> stan twitters  
> got7: @jiaercartier  
> exo: @pcyeater3000


End file.
